Safety First. Always.

Safety is my all-time biggest priority when it comes to caring for individuals or groups. At the beginning of every workshop I lead, I take time to talk about safety. I talk about this basic human need as a foundation, of course beyond physiological needs such as air, water, & food. I often engage my audiences in what they expect safety to look like.

When we hear the word safety, many of us think first of physical safety. We know to look for hazards and protect ourselves from harm. In my classes, I sometimes offer a seemingly funny reminder: there is no saber-toothed tiger about to storm through the door, and the floor beneath us is unlikely to give way. Yet our nervous systems may still be scanning for danger.

That is why I begin with psychological safety. Before we can settle in, learn, or connect, we need to feel that we can be present without fear of judgment or dismissal.

I often share a slide with a few invitations: notice and welcome others; share space and power; listen to understand rather than to fix; honor confidentiality; assume positive intent; and extend grace. They may sound simple, but each one shapes how it feels to be in a room together. Practiced consistently, they help people feel seen, heard, and able to participate as they are.

I try to practice these same principles with my family, colleagues, and strangers. When we feel safe, our bodies have more opportunity to settle. We can breathe a little more easily, listen, connect, and participate without worrying so much about being judged or getting something wrong.

This is central to The Calm Leader Effect™, a workshop I’ve created for various groups of leaders in healthcare. We explore nervous system awareness because the way we show up affects those around us. There is real science behind that. A leader’s pause, a colleague’s caring response, or someone’s willingness to truly listen can change the feeling in a room-at work, at home, or at school.

I bring these invitations into my classes, talks, and programs. I bring them home to my children, too. And I encourage the groups I work with to use them in their own lives. We may never know what someone else is carrying when we meet them. We can choose to meet them with care.

Creating safety doesn’t mean every conversation will be easy or that everyone will agree. It means making room for people to be human and paying attention to how our words, presence, and actions affect ourselves and others.

For me, that is where the work begins. And when we let go of the tension of the unknown, or fear of being judged, the air is lighter and our body and mind feels it too~

Image captured at one of my workshops where I was taking a word cloud survey of how people felt after a group activity.